If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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