Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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