is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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