sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
