he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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