i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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