Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
