He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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