I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
