I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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