I will die if light touches me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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