I think I am morally bankrupt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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