all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
