Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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