just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
