I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
