i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
