Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
