i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
