question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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