It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
