Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
