it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
