Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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