forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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