I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
