you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
