It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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