i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We named our party play list daddy issues
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
