as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
