So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
