More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
