So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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