i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no you cant smoke seaweed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
