where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
