I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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