she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My ass is underappreciated
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
