so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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