is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
