We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she told me i tasted like america
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
