Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
