in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
