haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
