My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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