I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
