Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
love makes seman taste better
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
