So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
