who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
