I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
