don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
